The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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