I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
