I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
