this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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