ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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