He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Are we still banned from the library?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.