shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
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We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
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Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.