he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
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Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
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You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.