i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
