You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
