did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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