Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
