Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
