we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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