Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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