no, he came in my armpit
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
