Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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