just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I love having hate sex.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
