Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
i now understand why vodka
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
