apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
