Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
