if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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