wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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