Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
