She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
