Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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