Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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