Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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