This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
