the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
