One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize