There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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