Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
