i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
