her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
