Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
