Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
