I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize