I wanna passion pit in your ass
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
