last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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