Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
