All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
