woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
