nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
