Whats the glycemic index on semen?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize