My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
