You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
