I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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