just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
