dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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