hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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