Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
