Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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