how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
