I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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