I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Dick very happy bro
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
