It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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