apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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