I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
