erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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