its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
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i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
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Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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