he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize