I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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